props to anyone who catches that subject title reference.

ive been in my room, not studying for the anatomy quiz i will assuredly fail tomorrow. wondering. pondering.
I came up with two crap poems.
how are people happy?
with all this shit and all this sadness and superfluous crap...how do we get up everyday, and not just breathe and eat...but laugh and play and sing frolic dance love live....
and all of that brings us pain eventually.
we have these crazy highs that allow us to have these crazy lows. and buddhists tell us to give up on those highs. because attachment...to materials, people, life...is what makes us suffer.
life is suffering.
life is joy.
life is all we have. besides death.
but who knows where death goes or if inexistence, nothingness, atomic molecular involvement is any worse than this? this all we know.
do you give up on love because you get dumped?
do you quit a team because you get benched?
do you stop writing because you get a rejection letter?
we do it for those highs. those glorious glorious moments.
it makes me think of van gogh. who strove for recognition for his art. and kept making his paintings why? he never was accepted in his lifetime. he died without that ultimate joy. was it worth it for him? if he had given up, if he had let life beat him down, our existences would be emptier. what is it all worth?
what do we sacrifice for moments of joy?
what do we sacrifice for moments of other's joy?
maybe the better question is, what wouldnt we?
and why, why if it makes us so unhappy. why is it so strong. why do we instinctively act in ways that will potentially destroy us emotionally, psychologically? why do we risk so much?
im happy.